Not Your Bubbie’s Matzo Brei

Or more correctly I should say this is not my grandmother’s matzo brei. My grandmother was an extraordinarily versatile woman who by the time she left this earth at almost 100 years old, had been a pretty good painter in oil, an art therapist to children and the elderly, a real estate agent, and a farmer’s wife. One thing she really and truly wasn’t was a good cook. She was famous for mailing us cookies, loosely packed in Fruity Pebbles cereal which begged the question — was she sending us cookie-tasting cereal or cereal-tasting cookies? Both were disgusting.

Your Bubbie, however, would make matzo brei this way, carefully remembering to wring as much moisture as possible from the matzo before frying it. Matzo by itself is pretty tasteless as a food, but as my friend Jackie says, I’d eat my left arm if it were fried sufficiently, and she’s right which is part of the reason I don’t own a Fry Baby or any other device designed for frying. To be clear, Matzo Brei doesn’t involve deep-frying matzo but if there were county fairs in Israel…Well, we can dream.

Matzo Brei

2 sheets of matzo — any kind at all
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons milk (it can be coconut or almond or soy)
4 tablespoons of Earth Balance or butter
1/2 teaspoon of salt

Crumble your sheets of matzo into a sieve and run cold water through them. Let them drain.

Melt the Earth Balance in a big, no-stick frying pan.

In a big bowl, beat the eggs, milk and salt.

Press on the wet matzo until you have manually removed most of the water. Mix the damp matzo shreds into the eggs.

Once the Earth Balance has stopped foaming but before it burns, spoon the matzo glop into the pan. Flatten it with a spatula and wait about 4 minutes until the bottom is golden brown. Flip. Wait another 3 or 4 minutes till fully cooked.

Serve either sweet with maple syrup or jam or savory with yoghurt, sour cream, or similar (my choice). Makes enough brei for two hungry people.